I have returned!`

So to make a long story short.
I am happy. I am excited!
I wake up with energy I thought i would never feel again.......
maybe also that is because I had a Starbucks double shot and two monsters
to get my day going.
Because I had a long crazy night.
Me and my wife to be had a long night to be more honest,
I started having these nightmares again.
They usually happen after big events in my life.
The first that i can remember was back when I was enlisting for the military.
I got in had an awesome mos, top secret clearance and everything.
My nightmare?
Like a lot of people it was me attending my own funeral. Nothing big.
They happened every night without fail every night.
up until i had my accident.
Got hit by a truck, fucked up my knee. didn't ship off.
They stopped.
Up until recently when i proposed to kristyl and she left for Dallas.
A new nightmare.
One so bad that i wake up in sweat sometimes even yelling.

What it is it?
I was at a funeral, walking in a long line passing my family on the left, and kristyls on the left.
as i get to the front the faces become less and less familiar. At the very front there are kids. crying and sobbing up a storm.
Somehow i know who died but at the same time i don't.
I walk up to the casket and look inside.
It is kristyl. I feel my heart drop , almost stopping.
The lights all dissapear i end up in a dark room,
i pull her body out of the casket and yell and scream and cry.
Her body rots, and turns to dust in my arms.
When she is gone im all alone, i look to the side and see a knife.
I take the knife and proceed to slice open my throat.
Thats when I wake up.
I call kristyl immediately asking if she is ok.
I know they will go away when I see her in july. 21 days!
please oh please, help me get through the days.